Today the Church remembers Our Lady of Sorrows. The image of Mary’s heart being pierced is one of the most moving and powerful images we have as Catholics. What this  can model for us is just as powerful. Mary does not fix, leave or rush her son away from what He endures. She remains present to unbearable pain, accompanying Him every step of the way. 

Compassion comes from the Latin cum passio — “to suffer with.” Not to suffer for someone, or talk them out of their suffering, or hurry them toward the other side of it. To suffer with.

September is also Suicide Prevention Month, and if there’s one thing the research on connection and crisis keeps confirming, it’s this: aloneness is what makes pain unbearable. Not the pain itself but rather the isolation around it.

Undoing someone’s isolation requires courage and strength. Often times our “helping” is actually flight. We can be quick to move away from someone else’s pain, or our own discomfort at witnessing it. We can reach for solutions, scripture, silver linings, anything but staying in the room. This makes sense because pain can feel like it takes up the whole room, leaving us feeling overwhelmed. 

The witness of Our Lady of Sorrows serves as a reminder to emulate her. She stood there, she stayed, and she suffered with her son. 

If you’re the one carrying something heavy right now, you don’t have to carry it alone. If you’re in crisis, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available by call or text, any hour.

And if someone in your life is hurting, the most powerful thing you can offer may not be an answer, it may just be presence; cum passio, suffering with, so no one has to suffer alone. We’re here to help as well and any of our wonderful clinicians would be happy to walk alongside you or your loved one. 

* The information provided is for self-enrichment and not intended to replace any necessary mental health treatment.⁣

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Warmly,

Jonathan Dixon, LMFT

Alpha Omega