This quote captures the underlying presumption of therapy: everyone has good reasons for why they may be stuck or suffering. The starting point of solving any problem is understanding how it became a problem in the first place. Any good assessment will make sense of the problem and test the working hypothesis along the way. It’s important to start here because most of us tend to add blame or shame to what we find overwhelming or don’t understand. If we feel stuck and are suffering, we tell ourselves it must be our fault or someone else’s fault. The reality is that most of us are doing the best we can with what’s been available to us throughout our lives. We don’t have to stay there but it is a good place to start as we add new resources. Part of taking responsibility for our well-being is honoring our humanity; we made use of the means available to us to get through whatever we had to and now we’re ready for new tools.
The journey towards growth and healing begins with acknowledging how we’ve done the best we can, no matter how broken or messy it seems. Validation makes it safe to take an honest look at what we need to work on. As we heal, the piece of art that is our life takes on a new look with even more layers and depth. Being human is a lifelong art of becoming. Learning to appreciate and honor that process in all its phases or stages is a key component of healing.
Be gentle with yourself as you look back on your story and write the next chapter.
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* The information provided is for self-enrichment and not intended to replace any necessary mental health treatment.
Jonathan Dixon, LMFT
Alpha Omega Team