We can be so desperate for healing, yet it can be so hard to take in. This makes perfect sense when you consider the reasons why many of us need healing in the first place. Our wounds often come from going through incredibly painful experiences, leaving us reeling and needing protection while we recover. This is a perfectly understandable and functional response to being wounded; we need to cope with what happens to us, even if that means adopting coping strategies that aren’t the most efficient long term. This is about survival and sometimes just surviving is the best we can do. Over time, this form of coping can feel constricting, often prompting an effort to heal. Wherever you may be in that process, it’s important to remember the following:

You have very good reasons for not letting go of the ways you learned to cope with whatever may have happened to you.

Learning new ways of coping is scary, risky, and can feel overwhelming at times because it’s vulnerable to stop protecting yourself in a way that’s familiar.

Not being able to heal earlier is not a weakness but rather a sign of your humanity – you’ve done the best you can and that’s ok. You can be proud of the effort you’re making now and have compassion for your past self at the same time!

Healing can sting, like putting lotion on cracked hands. You may struggle with this, especially at first, and that’s ok. It’s still worth it and so are you.

Finding what you can tolerate and taking it in slowly but surely is the best pace. Doing too much, too fast can actually block progress. When in doubt, slow is fast. 

Healing is messy, involves trial and error, and absolutely does not have to be perfect. The echoes of your painful experiences can coexist with feeling better. Suffering is part of what makes us human and it doesn’t have to define us or consume our existence. 

* The information provided is for self-enrichment and not intended to replace any necessary mental health treatment.⁣

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Warmly,

Jonathan Dixon, LMFT

Alpha Omega