In the words of psychologist Daniel Ward: “We need the eyes of others to form and hold ourselves”. In other words, our sense of self is relational! This makes perfect sense given that God created us to be in relationship with Him. While we may know this to be true, it can be hard for those of us living in individualistic cultures to fully grasp. Human beings are not self sufficient; we need help to grow and develop. Borrowing the eyes of another is wired into our brains as a primary resource. Being human is easier to bear when we can step outside of ourselves, break our isolation, and make contact with those who love us. This applies to all levels of relationship, from our loved ones, all the way up to our Creator.
Self compassion helps God’s love come alive and be present to us. Seeing ourselves through His eyes is a participation in His redemptive action in our life. Self blame, criticism, and doubting our self worth can make this incredibly challenging. It’s ok to slowly build self compassion, taking in one drop at a time until we can accept God’s immense love for us. What might it be like to allow yourself to experience mercy and compassion where you feel you deserve it the least?
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* The information provided is for self-enrichment and not intended to replace any necessary mental health treatment.
Warmly,
Jonathan Dixon, LMFT
Alpha Omega Team
